Thinking outside the box

Never try and be a smart ass with a cop. Especially with a cop who fought in the war, for fuck’s sake.

We’re called into an office by some high class bitch who has heard the good word about what my squad has been doing. However, she has to prove she’s smarter than us grunts by giving us some problem – magical rings and towers.

You could see the machinations in her mind. Prove to us that whilst we’re good at our jobs that she’s smarter than us, so we’ll take her orders without question. Bullshit. This soldier doesn’t work like that.

So we’re asked to put these magic rings she shows us in such a way that they protect these towers, but the lines of magic can’t cross. So the others are sketching in their notepads their solutions and they can’t see how it can be done. The trick is, it can’t be done – and that’s exactly what she wants to show us – that it’s an impossibility and that sometimes we have to accept there are limitations.

However, this soldier doesn’t think like the other grunts. This soldier is smarter than that. It’s true, the problem isn’t possible in two dimensions. However, we don’t live in motherfucking flatland, we live in Risur, and Risur has three dimensions last time I checked. And guess what, fools – the problem is easy when you introduce a third dimension.

So I ambled up, showed her my solution. Her jaw dropped to the floor, and she mumbles something about how the fact we can think outside of the box is why she picked us, or some shit like that. But I know the truth – fact is, this soldier was smarter than her.

As always.

Launch party!
Get your towels ready...

It is spring of the year 500 A.O.V. (After Our Victory). Seven years after the end of the Fourth Yerasol War, the shipyards in Flint have completed the first Risuri warship powered solely by steam engine, not sail. Your monarch, King Aodhan, has come to Flint to witness the official launch of this mighty vessel. Woodenhulled but with a heart and skin of iron, the Royal Naval Ship Coaltongue will act as a deterrent against future aggression from Risur’s enemy across the sea, the
nation of Danor.
The Royal Homeland Constabulary has been called upon to provide security, and you have spent the past several weeks working to make sure this event goes off without a hitch—canvassing the docks, performing background checks on the guest list, coordinating with the local police to set up a perimeter around the royal docks, and following various directives of your superiors. Now, as a warm breeze off the sea mingles the scents of elaborate floral decorations with the pervasive coal soot that always hovers over Flint, you’re at the first of two checkpoints, working with Flint police to let in a crowd of local citizens who just want to line the streets and cheer their king.

She sells sea shells
on the sea saw

82487 by wizards

And I love sea shells. I love sea shell things
I love things with sea shells and sea horses on ’em
Like blankets, and towels, and little bags
I love ’em! Sea horses, forever!
Get me a sword with a seashell, and a horse, a sea horse!
I want them!… NOW!?!

The words of a young boy from the Ayres of Flint, spoken into the right ears, could move mountains.


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